If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
