Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
FUCK WHALES
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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