shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
