Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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