Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
