He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
