dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
