And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
