I just cut my nipple shaving
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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