Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
