went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i will never coherently bang her
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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