I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize