She said her name was "party"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
