And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
love makes seman taste better
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
