I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
