Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
