if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
