overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize