Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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