This girl is more easily done than said...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
