I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Small penises have feelings too.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
