I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
