i don't like sucking hair
I cannot find my penis.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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