well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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