"it" just moved
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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