First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
