toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
