piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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