If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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