I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
