we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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