Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize