hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
