Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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