So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize