People with herpes should wear stickers.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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