That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
