yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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