It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
