shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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