Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
