dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sorry about my life...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
