i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
