Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
