Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
