Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
