My room smells like vodka and shame
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
