So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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