I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize