and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
