she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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