you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
