Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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