then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
