im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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