Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
