I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
as a side note pls kill me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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