After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
