I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm passing your future prison.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
