We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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