i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
