are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
