I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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