It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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