Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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