i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
