I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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