I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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